The experts will give you many techniques to try and make your relationship feel special and last longer. I believe the best way to achieve this is in doing things together. Develop shared interests which make you closer as friends. For instance, if you are both able to share hard work, as well as have a laugh and experience the ups and downs of working on a project together, then you create an additional bond which otherwise could have been missing.
The problem to overcome first of all is the common attitude of not wanting to share a hobby with your partner. There are many reasons why people do this, especially men: I need time alone; we cannot be with each other for too long without arguing; we have no common interests, etc. You need to get out of the defeatist attitude and actually aim to make this joint hobby work. The relationship should be there to benefit you as well as your partner, so make it happen. Demand more and give more. Most importantly, treat your partner as a friend and make the effort to move closer to them.
By working together on some project or hobby, you form strong bonds, reignite lost passion and both gleam a sense of achievement which you both understand and see in the other. It really is a win-win situation and should form part of any healthy relationship.
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When I talk about maintaining discipline in a relationship I am referring to raising children. A friend told me a story about his other married friend. It seems this married man has two troublesome teenagers. Now the man was a good father, kind, sensitive, thoughtful and never ever hit the kids. Now that the kids have gorwn up a bit and reached their teens, it seems that they are getting out of control. His wife confided in someone that she was disappointed that her husband was so weak with the children and not disciplining them enough.
Which brings me to my point. Women want a caring sensitive man to get married to. They want him to be a gentle hands-on father. Yet they also want him to deal out the discipline as well. if he is nice to the children he is too soft, if he is tough with them, he is too hard. Why is it that men in a relationship cannot be accepted for what they are and always seem to be blamed for everything that goes wrong. Women want equality (and rightly so), but with that equality comes a responsibility that they too show equality. It does not sound equal to me if the man must be both a mother and a father, whilst the mother need only be the mother. Does anyone else think that relationships are not balanced anymore?
Whilst I see that equality in the workplace is getting nearer and women are gaining on men, I wonder are these same women failing to ensure equality in their relationships where men are appearing to be putting in a lot more effort than they are. Equality works both ways and until women realise this and try harder in relationships, then we will continue to see the average age of marriage rise and divorce rates soaring.
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