Going the Extra Mile
In relationships, as in business, going the extra mile can really work wonders. What does this mean exactly? Well, ‘going the extra mile’ is a phrase which translates into someone making an extra effort for some reason. Normally it would mean giving your employer a better deal by trying to work harder, or in this case, by making your partner’s life a little easier by increasing your thoughtfulness.
For many people, love is an abstract concept and a little hard to have its exact definition pinned down. For me, love can be measured by the level of sacrifice and thoughtfulness. Love makes people ‘go the extra mile’ to look after their partner. If you truly love someone, you care about them enough to want to make their life easier, even at the expense of your own comfort and energy.
Parents are often ready to lay down their life to protect and care for their offspring, but how many would do the same for their partner? Yet the love of a partner can and should be just as strong as the love for a child (albeit a different type of love)… many people seem to doubt this and let the child be the main reason for their relationship - this is a ridiculously immature mistake with obvious unpleasant consequences.
So, to make your relationship stronger and to show your love, make that extra effort to show how you feel and to let your partner know that you are capable of giving things a bit more effort and go the extra mile. Some people believe this is unnecessary and sacrifices are not warranted in a strong relationship, but looking at the relationships these people endure may tell you of their emotional maturity and ability to comment on such things.
So what type of things count. As a rule of thumb, treat your partner as you want to be treated. Here are some suggestions:
- breakfast in bed
- a massage, even if you feel a little tired yourself
- get up from your chair and offer to make tea, even if you don’t want tea yourself
- meet them half-way coming from work
- a compliment, completely unexpected and heartfelt
- tell them you love them
- buy them a small, cheap thoughtful gift that required some energy to think of
- look after their emotional health and make sure you understand how they feel about their life
- occasionally be prepared to back down if they are angry and in the wrong
These are just some simple suggestions, but by making that extra effort in a relationship, you are showing how thoughtful and loving you are and your partner will most likely recognise and appreciate the attention. As a word of warning, you should not turn yourself into a slave, just learn how to be more thoughtful occasionally. It is a good habit to get into and you will also benefit from doing the right thing.
May 7th, 2008 at 5:34 am
I’ve found that simply listening to your partner can be very emotionally gratifying for them. When people are stressed out just having someone to vent to and to provide emotional support just by listening to them can be very cathartic for the person.
There are many different ways we can sacrifice, so to speak and it is often the smallest things or (as you said above) the things that require thought that go the furthest.